


Spins

by Evil_Little_Dog



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angel Book of Days Challenge, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-02-22
Updated: 2004-02-22
Packaged: 2017-10-31 01:54:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/338586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evil_Little_Dog/pseuds/Evil_Little_Dog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Timeline: A.U.; time line is negligible but assume everything up to "Home" on AtS and "Chosen" on BtVS happened. With a twist. *g*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spins

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cookie_Dough](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Cookie_Dough).



* * *

"Fall back!" The words crackled in the dank, damp air from the radio at her hip. "Ten minutes to explosion!" 

Cordelia grabbed Gunn's shoulder and pulled. "You heard the man," she shouted, practically in his ear. 

For an answer, Gunn pointed his crossbow and fired into the nest of vampires. The bolt struck the leader, who fell back with a hiss. It reached down to break the bolt, fingers clutching the shaft as the spell activated. "Watch your eyes," Gunn warned, his grin frighteningly luminous in the darkness of the sewer tunnel. Cordy had barely enough time to press her face into his back before the magic ignited, washing over the tunnel with the brilliance of the sun. The vampires screamed as the light fired their flesh, rapidly becoming dust and smoke. 

"Gotta love that spell," Gunn said, patting the stock of his crossbow. 

"Gotta get outta here," Cordelia reminded him, grabbing his arm. "Didn't you hear the order?"

"Hey, I took out fifteen vamps," Gunn said, allowing her to drag him along after her as he blinked away the afterimages on his retinas. "Easy as slipping on a snowy sidewalk."

"What do you know about snow, California boy?"

Gunn shrugged loosely. "It melts in heat?"

Cordelia rolled her eyes, releasing his arm so she could have her own weapon at ready. For a supposedly enchanted sword, it was pretty plain looking but Cordelia rarely went anywhere without it. As far as she knew, ugly swords didn't even have a fashion faux pas rating. Besides, it was way quicker than Gunn's crossbow, even if she had to be up close and personal to use it. 

"I hear 'em," Gunn said, his voice low over her shoulder.

"I told you the order came to fall back," Cordelia said, exasperated. They needed to get out of this sewer and pronto. She reviewed her mental map, trying to come up with the nearest manhole. "There should be a split up here and a place we can climb out."

"Sure hope so," Gunn said. "Otherwise, we're gonna wind up being prey."

She risked a glance back, eyeing his crossbow. "Don't you have another of those magic arrows?"

"Down to one," Gunn said. "So we better move it out."

Cordelia nodded grimly and led the way along the tunnel. She could hear the rustling behind them, the sounds of vampires gathering for their next attack. The nest was far larger than they'd thought originally, back when Angel first mentioned it in passing, two months ago. Since then, their research into it had shocked even Wes. Vampires shouldn't gather in such huge groups, he'd said, but these were. There were so many of them, Angel had finally made a call for help. 

Her mouth twisted slightly. Dealings with the Sunnydale group never really went well, as far as she was concerned. The spin they put on Cordelia's world was never of the good. Usually, they just had one or two of the Scoobies; Faith, Willow, Buffy. This time, everybody'd come along. The Hyperion was fairly bursting from the amount of people roaming its halls. And that many people in one place, especially these people, had to be the sign of an impending apocalypse.

She shook off that idea almost as soon as it formed. "No apocalypse," she muttered under her breath. They didn't have time for that sort of thing. Even if there were vampires gathering from everywhere. Why in hell had they decided to winter in Los Angeles, anyways? Couldn't they have gone to sunny Florida? Mammoth Caves? Somewhere else entirely? But no, they were here in the City of Angels, causing as much trouble as they possibly could.

Wes and Giles were working on the problem. Well, 'working' probably wasn't the right word. Cordelia knew they were having Willow and Fred cross reference everything on the internet as well as drafting Dawn and this little dweeb they'd dragged along with them by the name of Andrew to read, read, read. Well, Willow's experimentation with a magic-science hybrid was what led to Gunn's sunlight arrows, so it wasn't all that bad. And between them, they'd increased the power of those arrows to make some pretty scary sunlight bombs. 

Cordelia was just happy she'd managed to get out of that part of it. She'd never been that great at being research girl. Besides, she told herself, she didn't really want to be part of all that. An image of Xander flashed in her head and she thrust the thought of him away rather abruptly. She'd rather be out in the middle of everything, anyway. 

Like being bait to keep the nest occupied.

All right, so that wasn't exactly the orders she and Gunn had been given earlier this evening. They were supposed to get in, plant a couple of Willow's sunlight bombs to knock out some of the nest and get out. 

Things being what they were, nothing went according to plan. First off, they couldn't get into the sewer where they were supposed to; a main tunnel, easy to maneuver in. Instead, they'd had to slither down a storm drain. From there, they had to work their way back to the tunnel and managed to find a few guards. Well, run into might've been more appropriate, being as that's what actually happened. Fortunately, the guards hadn't offered that much resistance and were now piles o' dust. Too bad one of them managed to raise an alarm, alerting a gang just waiting for trouble. That's when Gunn's crossbow came in handy. Those bolts could take out a bunch of vampires all at once, where her sword was only good for one or two at a time. 

"We shoulda taken the kid up on his offer," Gunn said, breaking their silence.

"Connor's got enough to do," Cordelia said. He was probably in the midst of everything, with Faith. Just like Buffy and Angel, oh God, now there was another apocalypse waiting to happen; Buffy finally having the chance to react to the news that Angel had a son. She smiled, seeing something to take her mind off of that pretty picture. "Oh, look! There's the split for our exit." She pointed for emphasis. 

"Good thing," Gunn said. "Our fangy friends are getting --" He jerked sideways as a vampire grabbed his arm, flinging him into the sewer wall. 

"Gunn!" Cordelia swung her sword, hating that she was in some crazy, awkward position. The blade cut into the vamp's arm, just enough to make him howl and turn on her. "You're in so much trouble," she said, managing to get into a more stable stance. 

"Yeah? What're you gonna do?" The vampire leered. "Stick me with your knife?" He swiped at Cordelia. 

She smoothly chopped off his hand, sending it flying. "Oh, I'm a little better at cutting than stabbing." Taking a step forward, into his reach, she swung the blade up and cut off the vampire's head. "Surprise." 

The expression flickered on the vampire's face, showing shock as his mouth somehow continued to move, the words, "Oh, shi --" making it past his lips before he dusted. 

"Thanks," Gunn said, pushing off the wall. He staggered. "Wow. Damn vamp." Wincing, he probed the back of his head with cautious fingers, hissing in pain. 

"Let me see," Cordelia said.

"It's escape time now," he reminded. "You can check me out up there." His eyes flickered overhead, towards the real world. 

She scowled but knew he was right; the longer they lingered in the tunnels, the more likely it was the other vampires would catch them up. Besides, the dawn was coming. They'd stand a better chance if they could make it out of the tunnel and into the morning sunlight. "All right," she muttered. Shaking a finger at Gunn, she added, "But you'd better not slow me down."

His smile glittered like a gift at Christmas. "Promise." 

Something clattered close behind. Both of them jerked to look, exchanging a quick glance. "We need to move," Cordelia said, trying to keep her anxiety under control. Gunn nodded, gesturing for her to lead the way. 

They ran down the tunnel, looking for the way out of the sewer. It wasn't so much that the explosion would hurt them, though Cordelia personally thought that Willow's "light of a hundred suns" bomb probably wouldn't be too good for human flesh, it was more that they weren't sure that the explosion wouldn't hurt them. And when the vampires suddenly started pouring into the tunnel, Cordelia wondered if the bomb hadn't gone off early. 

Gunn pushed her along faster. "Move it, girl!"

"I'm trying!" Cordelia swung at a vampire, slicing the nose off her dark face. The vamp fell back, howling in pain and Cordy dragged her sword around, managing to fend off a reaching hand. "There're too many, Gunn." 

"Gotta keep moving," he said, pressing against her shoulder. She knew without looking he'd pulled his own weapon. That hubcap axe of his was no good in the sewer system; the space was too enclosed. But a fireman's axe would do in a pinch. "Well?" he taunted. "Don't you bad boys wanna take a shot at us?"

"Ixnay on easing-tay the ampires-vay," Cordelia said out of the corner of her mouth. She thrust her sword through a vampire's eye, dragging the weapon out, covered in ichor. Eww, she thought, swiping the blade through another vampire's neck. A blizzard of dust rained down. Double eww. "Angel so owes me clothes for this."

Gunn chopped into the vampires blocking their path. "Don't you people know how to stay dead?"

"You'll be part of us soon," one of the vampires hissed, catching at Gunn's arm, her claws digging into his flesh. 

"With that outfit? No way." Cordelia's overhand cut slashed through the vamp's wrist and she spun to put her back against Gunn's. "Things are getting tight," she shouted.

"Way ahead of you, girl," Gunn said, "already called for a backup."

"Now you tell me." Grimly shoving her sword into a vampire's throat, Cordelia refused to let the next one draw her away from Gunn. No way was she gonna let them get separated.

The vampire lunged for her throat. "Your friends will be too late," he taunted. 

"Wanna bet?" Buffy's voice rang through the tunnel, cocky as always. 

Angel dropped lightly into the fight, grabbing two vampires before they even realized he was in their midst. Tossing them to Buffy, he turned to his next victim. The Slayer staked the pair almost cheerfully. Cordelia could see the flash of Buffy's smile through the snowstorm of dust swirling around her. There was something just wrong about that but she wasn't gonna think about it now. 

Angel grabbed the head of the vampire teasing Cordelia, snapping its neck. "All right, who's next?" 

"What the hell are you still doing down here?" Faith's voice echoed weirdly in the tunnel. "You need to get out, now!" 

"You heard her," Cordelia half-shouted to Angel.

"I know," he yelled back, snatching up a vampire by the shoulders. He used the vamp like a cudgel on rest of the pack. "We're leaving now." Steaming along like a locomotive, Angel beat a path through the vampires, Buffy chivvying Gunn and Cordelia along in his wake. 

Cordelia swallowed her irritation at being herded, knowing that the explosion was due to go off at any time. Gunn grunted and stumbled, nearly going down. Buffy grabbed one of his arms and Cordelia the other. 

"Angel!" Buffy said. "It's Gunn!"

He half-turned in a swirl of black duster, reaching back to grab for Gunn. Suddenly, his eyes widened. Cordelia and Buffy both looked back at the same time, the intense light stabbing towards them. "Get out!" Buffy screamed at Angel. 

He leaped towards the opening, charging up the ladder like some weird spider. Cordelia could see Faith and Connor leaning in the hole, both of them reaching for Angel then the brilliance overcame her and she could see nothing else. 

Howls of pain ricocheted off the tunnel; the shrieks of dying vampires. Cordelia squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she could block her ears as well but Gunn, he needed her, needed her help. It felt as if the skin on the back of her neck was iced, the cold burning like a frostbite. Her hands shook and she buried her face in Gunn's shoulder, wanting it to just be over.

Blizzard-like, vampire ash spun around them, settling on their clothes, in their hair, dusting their clothes. The sounds, the screams, the echoes died down. Cordelia heard someone, Gunn, his voice crackling and strange, say, "It's over, right? Tell me it's over."

Buffy coughed. "Over." She coughed again. "I can't see a thing."

"Neither can I," Gunn muttered. "Ow. Damn. What happened, there?"

"Light," Cordelia managed to grate out. "Lotsa light." 

"Angel." Gunn's voice was cold.

Cordelia felt a chill along her spine. "Angel."

Buffy bellowed, "Angel!" 

"Here," he said, his voice a little muffled. "Wow. You guys are covered in dust."

"And we can't see," Cordelia said testily. "A little help?"

"Hang on. Don't move." There were scrabbling sounds and a hand touched her shoulder. 

Cordelia jerked automatically. 

"It's me, Queen C," Faith said, her voice raspier than ever. "Just hang on, I'll getcha to the ladder so you can climb out."

"I can't see," Cordelia said, blinking frantically. 

"There was a helluva lotta light," Faith said. "Just keep pressed close to me. I'm not gonna let you stumble."

"Gunn?"

"I'm okay, Cordy, you go ahead," he said from behind her. 

She allowed Faith to guide her. "Okay, here's the ladder." Faith took one of her hands and set it on the metal. "The rungs are about a foot apart." She arranged Cordelia's second hand. "Think you can climb up?"

Tossing her hair back, Cordelia said, "Sure," and started climbing. 

"That's it," Faith said encouragingly. "You're doing good."

She felt so strange, climbing without being able to see. She could hear Gunn's, Angel's and Buffy's voices behind her and wondered where Connor was. Outside in the street? Waiting for them? She could tell she was approaching the opening because new sounds reverberated from above. 

"You're almost there." Connor's voice sounded warm and comforting and she managed a smile. "I can almost reach you." She stepped up on another rung and he said, "Cordelia, reach your hand up." 

Cordelia obeyed, waving her hand blindly above her head. Connor's hard, warm fingers closed around her wrist, guiding her out of the hole. "Good," he said and another voice broke into her darkness.

"What happened?" Xander. What was he doing here? Another hand caught her and between the two, she was pulled out of the tunnel. 

"They got caught in the blast," Connor explained. 

"What were you doing down there still?" Xander again, sounding strange. Maybe the blast effected her hearing, too. 

"Trying to get out," Cordelia said, shaking their hands off. "Gunn and Buffy are still down there."

"Buffy?" Xander's voice moved away from her, lower to the ground. 

"She's all right." Faith. 

"I can't see anything," Buffy whined. 

"Besides not being able to see," Angel said, sounding as if he thought this was humerous. Cordelia almost wished he was close enough for her to kick. It wasn't at all funny. 

"Hey, I can't see, either," Gunn said, grumbling. 

"Hey, Cordy." A friendly, warm voice floated in from the darkness. Willow. 

"Hey, Willow. Can you get me someplace where I can sit down?" Cordelia brushed at her hair and realized. "Damn it. My sword's down there. I need that sword." She took a step and realized not only did she not know where the manhole was, if she did find it, she'd probably fall straight down and break a leg. 

"Angel's still there, I'll make sure he gets it for you," Willow said soothingly. She wrapped an arm around Cordelia's waist. "Come with me and I'll put you in the car." 

Cordelia allowed herself to be seated in the car and leaned back into the seat. She closed her eyes or thought she did. It was hard to tell. "God, I hope this goes away soon." 

It seemed like a long time later that they made it back to the Hyperion. Neither she, Gunn nor Buffy had sight yet and had to be led into the lobby. Cordelia personally thought it was like being in a white-out; nothing to see anywhere, just an endless field of black. She knew the sun had to be shining, she could feel the difference between shadow and light but she still felt amazingly cold. She finally was seated somewhere in the hotel, from the feel of it, on the lobby couch, with Fred's cool fingers pressed against her forehead. 

"Well?" Angel asked, his disembodied, impatient voice drifting in from somewhere. 

"They all look fine," Fred said and Cordelia could imagine the wispy woman's shrug. "I think it's just a little overexposure to the light bomb. It should go away in a few hours." 

"And in the meantime, you can look forward to peeling skin," Dawn said, sounding disgustingly cheerful. "'Cause those sunburns are gonna hurt."

"Sunburn?" Gunn asked, horrified. "That can't be right."

"I hate this," Buffy said and Cordelia felt the seat next to her sag, as if the Slayer let all her weight slump into the couch. 

"It shouldn't be permanent, Buffy," Willow said. "Really." 

"Man," Gunn said, making it sound like a curse word, "this sucks."

"Tell me about it," Cordelia muttered. She pressed the heels of her hands gently into her eyelids. 

"Oh, Cordy, don't do that," Fred said, gently taking her wrists and pulling them away. "You've got so much dirt on you, you could scratch your corneas." She paused. "Maybe we should get you guys cleaned up."

"Hey, I'm all for that," Gunn said. "It's kinda creepy, knowing you're covered in dead bodies."

"Eww," Cordelia said, shuddering. She slapped her hand in the general direction of Gunn's voice, grinning at his yelp. "I did not need to be thinking about that."

"Come on, we'll get you to someplace where you can shower," Fred said, pulling Cordelia to her feet. 

"Let's go, Gunn," Angel said, his voice close.

"You ain't bathing me, man," Gunn said warningly.

"You're right on that count. I'll leave it to Wes."

"I beg your pardon?" Wes sounded both shocked and annoyed.

"Don't even joke about it," Gunn snapped. "It ain't funny."

"Yeah, if I weren't blind, I'd have to stab my eyes out with a spoon 'cause of the mental images," Cordelia grumbled. She allowed Fred to lead her to the staircase, setting one hand on the bannister and following the other woman up the steps. 

Washing up wasn't too bad, Cordelia thought a little while later, ruffling her hair with a towel. It was trying to figure out what she could wear while she couldn't see to put it on. The vision of putting on her shirt and getting her head stuck in the sleeve flitted through her mind and she grimaced at the idea. She felt around for the clothing that Fred had left her, finding a pullover shirt, undies and a pair of sweats. 

Dressed, she felt her way to the door. The floor under her bare feet felt slick as ice and she held one arm out at her side, the other in front of her. Still, she bumped into the sink, swearing under her breath. That was gonna leave a bruise. Finding the door frame, Cordelia fumbled around for the knob and twisted it. "I'm coming out," she said, pushing the door open.

It cracked into someone who grunted in pain. 

"Oops, sorry, Fred," Cordelia said, freezing in place. Her fingers stretched out in front of her, touching a shirt. "I didn't...uh...."

"See me?" The irony in Xander's voice was thick.

"Xander? What are you doing here?"

"Sent Fred away." He guided her fingers to the crook of his elbow. "Come on, let's get you settled."

"Why?" She let him lead her across the room, allowed him to turn her and tell her that her bed was behind her, she could sit. Dropping onto the mattress, she relaxed at the feel of the familiar bounce. 

"Well."

Cordelia could almost imagine him fiddling with his hands or something. "Just tell me, Xander."

"Willow said to tell you that your sight should return."

"I heard that downstairs in the lobby." She folded her arms, wishing she could look at him. It was damned hard to read someone she couldn't see. 

"Yeah." Xander made that nervous giggle sound of his. 

Cordelia bit her lip and ducked her head. Why did that noise make her want to...be emotional, all of a sudden? She flipped her hair back. "So. There's got to be something else. Mind telling me what it is?"

"Well," he said, and the mattress sank just a little, down towards the foot of the bed, letting her know where he was, "I'm sorry you got caught in the blast."

Waving her hand, Cordelia said, "It happens."

"Shouldn't have happened to you, though."

Xander sounded so serious when he said it. Cordelia had to wonder why. No time like the present to find out. "Why? Do you think I shouldn't have been there? 'Cause I don't have any superpowers like Buffy or Faith? Or even Connor or Angel? Did you notice that Gunn was out there, too, and I was paired up with him? It's my call, Xander, not yours. You don't get to say what I can do and what I can't do." Her hand flipped out, hopefully encompassing the entire group in the hotel. "I'm the only one who gets to say that. Well, and Angel, sometimes, but only because he pays my salary."

"I know," Xander said carefully, "I do, Cordy, and that's not what I was trying to say. God, I'm bad at this." He rose and the mattress bounced slightly at the loss of his weight. "I'm just saying, that it shouldn't have happened because, well, you shouldn't be out there fighting vampires." Before she could open her mouth for a scathing retort, he hurried on. "Not because you want to, I mean. But because you shouldn't have to."

Cordelia closed her mouth, trying to figure out what he was saying. She felt a frown creasing her forehead and forced her skin to smooth out again. "So," she said, just as cautiously as Xander had, "you're saying that we should live in a world where we don't have to fight demons? Is that it?" She waited and then said in exasperation, "If you're nodding, I can't hear the rocks in your head."

"I'm nodding."

She drummed her fingers on the bedspread, trying to think of a way to answer him. "Xander," she said, "this is the world we live in. Bad things happen. I mean, with vampires and demons, most of the time you know where you stand. Last year...god, the things that happened last year. I know you guys were going through a lotta stuff in Sunnydale but we were going through a lotta stuff, here, too."

"We saw that fire from the sky on TV," Xander said. "We just...we couldn't get up here to help."

She shrugged. "Doesn't matter. We took care of it." She kept to herself the fact that Angelus had helped in his own way. Xander's hatred for the unsouled version of Angel was only rivaled for his dislike for the souled version. "But we had weird demons and we had bad people and I," she felt her throat tighten up, "really, really hurt my best friends." Cordelia remembered the expression on Angel's face when she told him she couldn't love him because of Angelus. She wondered if her own demon half had been poisoning her against her friends even then, setting her apart from them so she and Connor could bring Jasmine into the world. "I did a lot of really bad things. Me." She patted her hand against her chest. "People got hurt. People died because of some of the things I did." Sometimes, she had nightmares about that blond girl, the sacrifice. Sometimes she wondered if she pointed her out to Connor because she was little and blonde, like Buffy. Like Darla. She could still remember the feeling of Lilah's death under her hands. 

An icy breeze blasted along her skin and she rubbed her palms along her arms. "Even if there weren't any demons, any vampires, it isn't like there still wouldn't be bad people in the world," she said. "Maybe not on the same scale but you know that history is full of stories of humans turning against each other."

"I know." Xander's voice sounded hollow as he sank onto the bed next to her. His body heat seemed to soak into her skin, thawing it a little. "I've done bad things myself. I cast a spell, one to find out if Anya and I would be happy together. What I did was summon a demon who's own magic killed people." His words thickened. "And then I lost Anya anyway. I walked away from her on our wedding day. And then she died." His fist bounced off the mattress. "She saved Andrew's life but she died."

Cordelia fumbled, finding Xander's clenched hand. Her fingers smoothed over it. "I had a baby, last year," she said softly. "A beautiful little girl. Special." Xander's breathing was ragged but aside from that he was very still. She could feel the corded muscles in his forearm as she ran her fingers over his arm. "I nearly died giving birth to her. I was in a coma...well, for a while. And while I was out of it," her voice cracked and she bit her lip, breathing through her nose shallowly until she could speak again. "While I was in that coma, my little girl killed people. She wasn't completely human. She was a demon, Xander. She absorbed the humans so she could live. And Angel and Wes, well, everyone, they all tried to stop her and nearly got killed themselves. Her father." She swallowed again. "Her father had to kill her. He was the only one who could stop her. And he did it. That act, murdering her, it was the hardest thing he ever did. Then he nearly killed me and himself and Angel, trying to get some peace for it." She squeezed Xander's hand. "I woke up from my coma and I had to learn how to walk again, how to use the bathroom, Xander. And I had to deal with the fact that my daughter was a murderer and I'd never get to see her because she was already dead."

"Cordy," Xander whispered, laying his arm around her shoulders. He felt as warming as a blanket on a winter night and Cordelia turned towards him, letting him take her into his arms while she cried. "I'm so sorry," he whispered into her hair when she calmed. "I didn't know."

She pushed back a little, wiping her eyes. "Yeah, well, it's just the way the world spins, you know? Things never go the way you expect." Shaking her head slightly, she sniffled. "I must look terrible."

"Never," Xander said, with the loyalty of an ex-boyfriend. "Except, you know, your shirt's on backwards."

"It isn't." 

"Gotcha." 

Cordelia managed a laugh and leaned back against him. He shifted slightly, pulling her down onto the bed with him, stroking her hair gently. Cordelia squirmed slightly, finding a comfortable position with her head against his shoulder. His heart beat slow under her ear. "You know, you're a good man, Xander Harris. Anya was really lucky. And I should know."

"Thanks," he said, threading his fingers through her still-damp hair. 

"Xander?"

"Huh?"

Cordelia rubbed her cheek against his shirt. "I need to sleep now, okay? You won't leave, will you?"

His chest bobbed in silent laughter. "I'm not going anywhere, Cordy."

"Good." She smiled, snugging in close to him. "Good. Sweet dreams, Xander." 

"The best, Cordy." His arms gently secured her to him as she drifted off. "The best."

**Author's Note:**

> Written for ~ Cookie_Dough for the Angel Book of Days Winter Challenge. Prompt: Cordelia; Future/Past/AU; Xander  
> ~ No violent sex and no slash
> 
> Author's notes ~ You'll recognize some of the things that are mentioned. Others, well, read and see.


End file.
